How to let go of toxic people | Psychology

Toxic people are like broken shoes that are not only painful but also prevent you from walking properly.  

If you have been dealing with toxic people for a long time, you may have developed an addiction. At some point in life, you reach your limits and want to finally get rid of them but it won’t be that easy. But if you don’t take action at the right time, you might end up being toxic.

There is no point in entertaining toxicity at the cost of your mental health and well-being. We all have some toxic people either in our family members, friends, coworkers, etc.

While there may be some relationships or loved ones that are toxic and you have no choice but to deal with them. Here we present a self-help article on how to deal with toxic people. 

Signs of a toxic person

• Manipulative
• Liar
• Victim mentality
• Highly judgmental
• Arguing mostly
• They are egoistic

Toxic people are not good for your wellbeing  

• They make you feel bad

Whenever something goes wrong and you are around them, they blame you. The play blame game gets to the point where you start thinking it’s your fault. You contributed to whatever they are going through somehow.

You may feel accountable or responsible for their suffering and so you are there to assist them in their drama. And act as a therapist for them. At the end of the day, you end up with all those negative feelings and self-image.

They never miss an opportunity to make you feel these emotions, they can insult you and cover it with quick jokes. But you know what you felt.

• Makes you doubtful of everything

This is an obvious trait of toxic individuals. If you tell them that you are going to do something, they will tell you all the negative stories about the subject and try not to only influence your decision negatively but also try to take control of your life.

If you are dealing with a toxic family member and you tell them that you’re going to XYZ University to get a degree, they will blow your mind with a whole lecture about why is it just a waste of time and money and education is no more as important as it sounds.

It’s the same with a toxic friend. If you tell them you’re going to do this XYZ business, they will tell you there is no room for this business, you are going to waste your money, you can’t trust anyone to build a partnership, and everyone around us is a monster, or you are not good enough to handle a business.

Like the whole world becomes a bad place. They instill all these fears in you and leave you doubting everything until you start questioning your self-worth.    

• Left you drained

You know that toxic person who is always complaining about things. Nothing is good in their life, everyone is cheating them, and hurting them. Every situation is a nightmare in their life and is full of dramatic, nonstop events.

Every time they call you or meet you in person, they have a problem to deal with and need your help. These energy vampires suck your energy out and leave you drained. And then you don’t have enough energy to deal with your stuff. It can cause headaches and trouble sleeping.  

Why so???

There is nothing wrong with helping or listening to someone who is in distress, but save this spot for deserving ones who truly need it. Not for those who are constantly being dramatic to get sympathy, they have a sick mentality.

Even therapists and professionals take care of their energy after dealing with such patients. You will need to neutralize and restore your energy.   

How to deal with them

Never show your reaction

The first and foremost agenda of toxic people is to trigger a reaction in you. They deliberately drag you into situations or push those buttons to get an aggressive response from you. When find yourself in such situations, try to remain calm and neutral.

Don’t show your reaction at all. I know it’s hard but do it two or three times with these toxic people and you will notice they will realize that you are done with their drama. In most cases, they are clever enough to sniff out one’s weaknesses and strengths.

So stop giving them what they want and they will find someone else to feed their narcissistic nature.

Be the best version of yourself

Imagine how the best version of you would act if they had to deal with such people. Imply the best techniques and practices to get out of this kind of situation. Be authentic and strong-headed, don’t hesitate to share your voice over matters.

Don’t be so simple that people can take advantage of you. Be strong, and confident and set healthy boundaries. Tell them openly how you feel about them and what things about them bother you. Never ignore red flags instead have a constructive conversation if you can get anything out of that.

Detach yourself

Detachment is something that everyone should practice at least once in their life. It allows us to experience consciousness more fully. Once you detach yourself from the person or situation, then you enable yourself to approach it subjectively.

You may feel sorry for this toxic person because you have seen the suffering or traumatic events that happened in the past. Well, most of the time people become toxic because they couldn’t handle their trauma very well.

But that’s not your fault and you don’t have to feel sympathy for their behavior. This is what makes many people unable to draw the line between empathy and toxicity.

And this can only be done by detaching yourself from these things and making a rational decision. That is, having empathy is one thing, but suffering for their sake is another foolishness.  

Please ignore them

This strategy works best for those who don’t have the option to completely avoid these toxic people. This group may have a toxic loved one, a family member, or a colleague, that they cannot fully let go of.

Although we have a limit of patience, but for the sake of our relationships and due to some reasons we have to ignore them. When dealing with a toxic family member, ignore their harsh words. Have to-the-point discussions when needed.

Tell them you have limited time and arrange agenda meetings. This way you can limit your interaction with them. For some people, you can ignore their existence if possible and it is, as we get used to these behaviors over time.

There is no use in biting back and allowing yourself to engage in degenerative behaviors like them.  

Cut them out of your life

No one wants to be dragged by the leg while feeling the pain and shame, so cut off that hand. When you truly understand the importance of peace and positivity you won’t waste a second to break down all those barriers that come with finding such a state.

Our interactions should be based on equal give & take of respect, support, and love. If that is not the case and they are not adding any positive value to your life, feel free to remove them. Remember that it is in your best interest to conserve your energy and keep it in a positive circle.

Surround yourself with positivity

Where bad and toxic people drain us, positive individuals do the opposite. They bring positivity and healing and uplift us in many ways. It’s a good idea to spend your most of time with like-minded people to remind yourself of the circle who have your back, who are supportive and encouraging.

Don’t overlook you might be the toxic one

While we argue about other people’s toxicity, it’s easy to overlook ourselves. We must be conscious enough to detect the bacteria of toxicity that silently damage our behavior. Maybe we are the ones causing problems.

Let’s take a step back and help them heal. Toxic people need professional help and therapy to heal and control the damage. Such mental conditions require serious measures. If you know someone with this kind of behavior, support them and educate them on seeking professional help if possible.

It’s not about you and only you, but about everyone that you interact or relate to. So stay optimistic and take a step towards positivity for the sake of your well-being.