Asma khan balouch Since the beginning of time men and women are pairing up for several reasons and in many ways, and marriage of convenience is on top of that list. By the time it may be misunderstood or misrepresented but it stood still with its strong significance.
As society evolves, the values of some norms change over time, but still applicable and a part of many cultures even today like Asian countries specifically Pakistan and India. So in this article, we will delve deep into the significance of a marriage of convenience, and how it can be beneficial to the present time.
What a Marriage of Convenience is?
The marriage of convenience best known as MOC, is a marriage between two individuals based on strategic and practical reasons rather than focusing solely on love. It’s more of a traditional practice, where families are also involved and help individuals to set the goals, terms and conditions, etc.
Both partners get benefits and know about the expectations they going to have in their relationship which helps to lay a strong and clear foundation for the marriage.
Purpose of Marriage of Convenience
While the essence of MOC remains the same the purpose and reasons change over time. Historically marriage of convenience was a way to resolve conflicts between families, tribes, etc
it was a way to safety, preserve values and heirs, wealth, or power. Many MOCs were arranged for political reasons as well to gain more power. But currently, it’s done for purposes such as:
- Family pressure: In many cultures like India and Pakistan, individuals are forced into such alliances. We have tons of examples and it’s still continuing as a part of these cultures.
- Legal immigration benefits: Well that is something very common in the West, immigrants from different countries enter into MOC relationships to get permanent residency or citizenship rights.
- Financial stability: Many individuals enter into such unions to stabilize and achieve their economic goals by combining their resources.
Why you should consider MOC?
MOC is instead a rational and practical notion than that of love and a romantic one. If you are someone who is rational and looking to settle down with a sense of security, and protection and with some practical advantages or want escape from a dire situation then you should give a thought to marriage of convenience.
There are some other significant aspects that should be taken into consideration such as:
- Avoid expectation anxiety: Unlike love marriage or other unions when people’s expectations of a relationship are not met the chances of such relationships ending increase exponentially. In a union like MOC people already know what to expect from their partner and how they had to manage to fulfill their commitment. No chance for blind expectations. And you get maximum marriage benefits.
- MOC as a way to generational survival: In the US birth rate is declining rapidly and the factors that play a key role are somehow directly related to the personal views of individuals. One of the partners might not want children as part of their relationship but chances are they either didn’t clear this at first or they change their mind later on. To avoid such horrible situations MOC could be a blessing in disguise.
- Reduce divorce chances: Although it’s difficult to change people’s minds and behavior as we are facing a lack of tolerance both in society and individuals that is impacting marriages directly being a reason for divorce. But you can find a partner with a clear motive, who is responsible and loyal and has a level of commitment. When all matters are sorted at the beginning whether it’s financial or conventional, it reduces the chance of divorce greatly.
- To make sure you do not end up broken and lonely: The biggest problem in the West today is the fear of being left broken and alone in the context of relationships and family. People got married for fewer years and divorced to gain so-called freedom or financial gain either way one party was left alone and broken. This has become like a tradition in the West we can find so many individuals with such stories and this creates a fearful environment where people are no longer considering marriage. We are social animals we can’t fake living like this instead you can try a marriage of convenience to secure both aspects.
Come out from love Marriage Illusion
Most people want a love marriage and stay single for a long period of time just to find the love of their life. I have witnessed tons of people falling in love with their spouse after marriage.
One of my best friends had the same notion and was fighting with her family to let her wait for the love of her life. And that’s why she didn’t give her fiance a chance, but after 7 years of engagement finally, she got married to this same person and now she is madly in love with him.
Thousands of stories can be shared to support the argument but the point is there should not be a blind spot to consider anything without looking at every aspect.
Love is important and as necessary as anything else in a relationship but solely relying on this concept will give you nothing but longing, waste of your precious years of life, and so on.
“At times, one might mistake their feelings for love when they truly aren’t, and on occasion, individuals can inspire affection in you, but it may not endure.” Asma Khan Balouch
Can MOC fulfill the Need for time?
We are living in the age of individualism and materialism, everyone wants to impose their personal beliefs on others and consider themselves right.
While having a materialistic approach towards everything and everyone, we consciously or unconsciously attach to people for personal gain. We are the ones who do good and also bad to each other, we harm each other and also save but what matters are the intentions behind our actions.
As marriage dynamics evolve over time from arranged marriage to love marriage, people begin to consider mutual respect and compatibility for marriage. Marriage of convenience can be a relief to individuals who are struggling with social stigmas, and financial or emotional needs.
In the US we are facing a crisis in family structure, back-to-back falls of problems like increasing divorce rates, and decreasing marriage and birth rates. Many single parents struggling out there can find a helping hand by means of the pros of marriage (MOC).
Conclusion
Like any other marriage, marriage of convenience also has its fundamental rules and objectives which may benefit you in accordance with your circumstances, motives, and ethical considerations.
But remember it also comes with its fair share of pitfalls and if you are up to such an arrangement make sure to consider all the aspects responsibly about marriage pros and cons, what you can bear and what not, and what are you looking for.
Because MOC is a complex norm and whether it’s the right choice for you, you have to decide it with full awareness while keeping in mind the involved consequences, in fact, you should get a piece of personalized marriage advice from a professional relationship coach/therapist.
Although marriage of convenience has the potential to save the lives of involved parties finding a balance between practicality and authenticity in a relationship is the key to a fulfilling relationship, whether you marry for love or convenience. It’s just among many diverse ways in which people seek security, protection, and happiness.
