Asma khan balouch What people lack these days are lasting friendships. Friends are the most important people in our lives who make our lives more colorful, joyful, beautiful, and complete.
The sort of comfort they bring in life is irreplaceable. But it can backfire if we don’t make the right choices and if we don’t choose the right people for our constituency. We have to take the responsibility to consider working on friendships just like any other relationship.
So today we’re going to discuss the fundamentals of making high-value, long-lasting friends.
Why don’t friendships last long these days?
People evolve and there is nothing wrong in accepting the growing aspects of others. But what breaks friendships are negative changes in people. This negativity and incompatibility didn’t come overnight. They were always there but it took you this long to notice those unbearable traits of others.
You didn’t take it upon yourself to consider the friendship potential in the first place. Just like anything else in life, we approach friendships similarly. There are some common things we should not think about first when making friends but unfortunately, we do.
Those are as follows:
- Location/area
- Acquaintance/neighborhood
- Colleagues/classmates
- Financial status
- Name/fame
- Beauty & looks
This criteria is the foundation of most of our friendships today, and that’s why they don’t last long. How can anything last long on such a weak foundation? That’s why there is an end to this kind of relationship sooner or later.
How to make genuine & long-lasting friends?
Friends are a precious part of our lives and we want them to stay by our side through the ups and downs of life. Can you dare to ask yourself if your friend circle can stand the need of time or how long they can be there with you?
Good friends are like blessings and if you are unable to count it as a blessing then don’t worry you can start all over again to make some high-value friends.
Consider the following traits while building friendships:
They should have shared values
We can get along with people of different interests but it’s hard to get along with individuals who don’t share the same values.
Imagine if the person you call your friend insults/disrespects the waiters every time you go to any restaurant makes illegal money, sells fake products, cheats others, or causes constant trouble to themselves as well as to others.
If those things don’t bother you at first, one day it will and then you will have no choice but to cut them out. So it is better to make friends with people who have the same values as you.
You value commitment, they value commitment. You like to be honest, they respect honesty and at the end of the day, you grow along with your positive aspects when you surround yourself with like-minded people.
A man with values is a man of high value. Asma Khan Balouch
They should be goal-oriented
Who hasn’t dreamed of starting a venture with their friends? And of course, not all of them prove to be true but there are several stories of successful personalities who have done extraordinary things in history with the support and collaboration of friends.
Those who have achieved this level of success in their relationships and business were not lucky but surrounded by the right and like-minded people.
They should be goal-oriented and should have a vision. It doesn’t matter if their goals are different than yours, what matters is how serious they are about their dreams and goals.
How can a person who is not serious and responsible enough for working towards his goals take friendship seriously? A goal-oriented person knows the value of time and people in their life and wants the best for them too.
They should be your supportive circle
Your circle should be your support system. Do you have these guys who always have your best interest at heart? They are the kind of people who lend you a helping hand and get you out of trouble before criticizing and blaming you.
Whatever decision you take they want the best for you and support you no matter what.
You know deep down that if something happens along the way, they have your back. If you have such people in your life, consider them a blessing and never let them go. These are the individuals who deserve your attention, time, and energy. Instead of trying to make some kind of jealous, immature, and selfish friends, invest in people who can be your well-wishers.
They should be appreciative and give constructive feedback
A high-value and good friend is not someone who supports you in every wrong decision and step you take. Most people assume that those who don’t are not good for them and thus they cut them out.
A good friend will always give you the right advice, they will be honest with you and tell you what they feel. They will let you know if you are on the wrong track or doing the right thing. They will provide you with honest and constructive feedback. And they will appreciate you without any sugarcoated words.
Where to find high-value friends?
Although there isn’t a specific place that keeps high-value friends that you can go and just grab them. But their specific interest and qualities could be a hint of where you might find them, such as:
Buy a gym membership
The gym is the place where you can find the most disciplined and well-organized individuals. You can tell right away how responsible and serious they are about their health and the things they are involved in.
But it’s not as easy as it sounds, gyms are full these days with everyone taking memberships now and then. So the chances are that not everybody you meet at the gym has the potential you are looking for. You can do a little homework and do a little research on a person’s profile before approaching them to become friends.
Another place you can search for a potential candidate is charity and shelter homes. You will interact with the most kind and generous people there who take their time to help and care for others. These volunteers are passionate beings who work for the betterment of society. They may be the perfect match for your friendship.
Friendship isn’t always about doing the same stuff and having the same interests, but you can get along like different pieces of the puzzle. You might not be interested in volunteering but you can donate to some noble cause and let your friend be the reason for this noble cause.
Hands-on tip: Invest in your friend circle
Many of us take good individuals for granted and don’t value them the right way at the right time. One of the lessons I learned from my teachers and elders is to invest in your relationships and the people you value.
This is a million-dollar tip and I have seen individuals who have practiced it for years reaping huge benefits.
So, invest in your friends your time, energy, and money as well if you can. Treat them well, lend an ear to their problems, and be there for them in their happy and sad moments. Ask them how you can help them. Pay their dinner bill or invite them to your home more often. Show them you respect them and value them.
If you don’t have money to spend on them, just help them with their chores, even if it’s just taking their dog for a walk when they are busy. Lift their mood when they feel down.
Sometimes our presence and just being there is enough to show how much we value someone. These are the right people, spend your generosity on them and you will be amazed how it will turn everything in your favor.
You just have to know that nothing is free, everything has a cost, and friendships are based on equal giving & taking of values. But if you value the wrong people, you will never get anything good. Even all your good deeds will be replaced with ungratefulness, deceit, backbiting, and disloyalty.
So be nice to all but nicest to the ones who truly deserve such treatment.
