Asma khan balouch Most of us face body image issues at some point in our lives. With none of the good things and habits that come with a negative body image, it can reach a destructive level where you may experience hard times finding true love or even just love per se.
Many people struggle to find love while dealing with this problem; some use their insecurities as a blanket and overlook their chance of true love.
How we perceive our body image largely depends on how others perceive us.
I remember that girl in my hostel life. She was a playgirl and very open about her narrative. I was curious about such people and the motives that led them to form such habits or behavior.
For example, dating multiple people simultaneously and using them deliberately, receiving a bouquet from one guy and passing it to the next one or just throwing it in the trash. That’s not a healthy mindset, at least for my kind of people.
Well, once I got a chance to talk to her. She was quite blunt and didn’t hesitate to express her feelings. And all I found was just her insecurities about her looks. She had this body image narrative.
Although she had acceptable features and good physics it is our society that painted perfect pictures on the canvas. Society’s standards of perfection and beauty cannot be matched by all kinds of body types that exist in real life.
The lyrics of Anne Marie’s song, I’m not a supermodel from a magazine” perfectly describe the reality.
Normally, people with this kind of insecurities tend to isolate themselves from social interactions but she did the opposite. She used that insecurities as fuel to dumb others.
Although she attracts successful men who might be a good match for her, she begins to abandon them before they do (that’s what she thinks). And yet here she is wasting away her golden days alone.
6 ways to shift negative body image into a positive one
1: Clear your mind of unrealistic beauty standards
Do you even know what these models go through to achieve the desired standard of beauty set by modeling franchises and the film industry?
Well, this is also partially a matter of the past because unlike in the past, you can witness how many celebrities defy these standards and stand out for who they are.
How many people are out there who can afford it financially and have gone through plastic surgeries to achieve specific facial features or shapes but ended up in the worst possible way?
You are not the center of the universe who will go public and the world will stop to see you. Even if they stop and look at you, what then?
Nothing is going to change. Everybody wants special attention and likes to be admired. And that’s fine but when you start to achieve that by thinking only that shape and size can make me attractive, that’s not healthy at all.
You need to clear your mind from all the pre-installed programs that make you think about such unrealistic things. You are a beautiful creature and you have your touch of beauty in one way or another.
2: Perfections are equal to fakeness
If you think there is perfection in anything, find it in your imperfections.
Do you know how many filters and camera settings are used to take a perfect picture? How much makeup do models wear to achieve certain looks? How many places do they try to find that one perfect spot? How many angles do they move to create that perfect pose?
It’s a whole team behind the scenes working and constantly putting effort into taking that one perfect picture for the magazine cover.
But what you see is the picture and you think it is perfection and you want to achieve it. Are you serious, I mean you want to be a picture that hangs on the wall or stick on paper?
If humans can make things look perfect, why are you doubting your creator for such things?
3: Put peace above everything else
Cultivate the power of peace that comes from simplicity. Stressing over things you can’t control is ruining your mental peace.
You are worried because you have gained some weight. What will people think of you and what will they say about you? And there you begin to punish your body with strict diet plans and intense workouts at the gym or taking some kind of supplements just to look desirable.
People will talk about you, and pass you hurtful comments whether you are fat or thin or the so-called desirable shape and size, they will find something in you to talk about. And it’s not going to stop anyway.
If you start thinking about these kinds of things, they drive you crazy. Ignore the things and intentions of others like you ignore your mother’s advice when going out.
Suppose your body is not accepting what you are forcing yourself to eat or do some strenuous exercises while constantly thinking about your body image. You need to remove such barriers that come in the pursuit of peace.
4: Practice self-love
When people suffer about their body image, they lack self-compassion. They engage in negative self-talk and ruin their self-esteem.
This kind of activity brings more negativity to life. It seems like you unconsciously become the person you don’t want to be.
So next time you stand in front of a mirror, say positive and good things about yourself. Tell yourself how beautiful he/she is and how much you love the person in the mirror. Eat healthy, dress well engage in healthy activities, and avoid negativity at all costs.
5: Celebrate who you are
Few people in the world admire their flaws and take pride in authenticity. If someone doesn’t change themselves for you, why are you stressing and letting your guard entertain their so-called comments about you?
They don’t know who you are or what you have been through. They don’t know the real you, so why do you care about their opinion?
Let your true self shine it doesn’t matter what others think of you but what matters most is what you think of yourself. If you are not able to respect and love yourself, then no one will do it for you. Everyone has flaws, but the beauty lies in how you carry them.
6: Do what’s logical and possible
Drawing a line between what you should do and what shouldn’t do is crucial when dealing with body image issues.
Sometimes people put too much stress on themselves and overdo things like sticking to strict diet plans and not wearing their favorite colors or dresses. It feels like self-torture.
It is possible to look after oneself healthily. Your goal should be to be healthy not to be some kind of a beauty showpiece. Eat healthy, drink healthy, do exercise, do yoga, practice gratitude, and most importantly, love yourself.
If you are healthy physically, and comfortable in your skin, nothing outside matters. When you seek external validation for anything, it will suck.
If you are not ready to accept yourself, then how do you think the person of your dreams will come and accept you? Will they be comfortable with people who are not comfortable with themselves?
Don’t stress out: There is no universal beauty standards
Educate yourself about how sociocultural norms work and why they force these standards. Of course, trillion-dollar industries need to sell their products, but if we all become conscious and purposeful in life, then who will be their consumers?
This is why they continue to portray and convince us of how we should look. If you understand the matrix behind everything, you won’t worry about such things.
Your life should be purposeful. To enjoy the true essence of existence you must have something above material things in life. Someone said it so beautifully:
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
