8 signs of bad friendships and how to cut them off

Friendships are like Diamonds and bloodlines are like Gold. A cracked diamond will never be the same again, but Gold can melt and regain its shape! People with healthy friendships live longer and happier lives.

Friends are the ones who can make your happy moments remarkable. If you share such a bond with someone, you are the luckiest person. A wise one once said poor are not the one who has no money, the poor are the one who has no friends. But what about those who have bad friends?

A man is known by his companions. A bad seed does not make a healthy fruit. The same goes for a bad friend, it’s like you are feeding a snake who will eventually end up poisoning you. Today’s article is about identifying bad friends and dealing with toxic friendships.

Why do friendships turn toxic?

There can be many reasons why people change over time, whether the change is positive or negative. We don’t always vibe with the same crew. Friendship is the only circle where people are mostly themselves and show their true nature. Ask yourself who knows you well. Who has access to and experience of your authentic self?

It might not be your family, or it might be a romantic interest for some of you, but there will definitely be a friendship element to it, but mostly it’s your friend circle who has met your authentic self, most of the time. They are more aware of your wild nature, desires, and fears than anyone else. 

And if so, there is nothing left to hide to turn the friendship toxic as they have already witnessed all the truth and righteousness. Well maybe that is the problem itself but there could be more like this…

• Some people are just psychopaths, they love toxicity
• You may have overlooked their existing negative traits
• You may have compromised your boundaries for them
• You no longer have the patience to deal with their $***
• Don’t have the ability to recognize snakes
• When things and favors are taken for granted
• When efforts are only one-sided
• When one enters into a friendship with malicious intentions of manipulation

Here are 8 signs of bad friendships:

1. They talk behind your back

A true and loyal friend would never do such a shameful act. But if you find your friend gossiping behind your back and spreading rumors about you. You better ask yourself if you still want to be friends with them. Make sure you catch them by yourself without involving a third party.

2. They insult/teas you in group settings

We all have fun in group settings, don’t we? But they have this habit of always teasing and making fun of you in front of others. And you feel embarrassed or bad about their behavior.

3. They don’t like the same things or goods for you as for themselves

They want better things for themselves and force you to take less or least good things. Remember when you go shopping with them and you like a pair of grey shows that was just one piece and they get it for themselves and ask you to take something else.

Can’t they even adjust for different color shows? Or when they force you to buy some random expensive things, just to waste your money.

4. They use you in any way possible

From having fun to being transactional in friendship, to using you any way possible is a serious indicator of your friendship turning into a bad friendship. They use your money, clothes, time, and energy if there is nothing left. They always come with this emotional drama and complaints and paint themselves as a victim.

And left you drained with a headache. It seems like you are left with all their emotional baggage that brings the same negative experiences in your life.

5. They never showed up when you needed them

You helped them whenever needed. You are constantly trying to provide support and help them. They are relying on you for their need and purpose. But there are only excuses when you get into trouble or need a little favor from them. Either they are unreachable if they sniffed your trouble or there is a lie behind their Lame excuses.

6. They only pay lip service

They are expert at using words but you haven’t witnessed any of the words get fulfilled by their actions. They may be telling you, you are their only best friend, but you see them prioritizing their other friends or even acquaintances over you. 

They told you not to worry about the matter but left you alone when crises arose. But they convince you with their words that you are their only hope.

7. They envy the rest of the circle

Are they complaining about your other friends, that you are giving more time and attention to your other friends? They get jealous and start gossiping about them. They try to convince you that you hate them too.

Whenever you hangout and make plans with the rest of your circle they hate it and try to cancel those plans. They’re just jealous and don’t want to see you having fun and nurturing your other relationships.

8. They try to control you

Have they tried to influence your decision and interfere in your most personal matters they should not be meddling in? They respond on your behalf when you have group plans and discussions. They want to be the center of attention and to do so they overlap your personality and presence.

During group discussions they often interrupt you, either not letting you finish or being outright hostile to prove you wrong.

Tester for checking (you have a toxic/bad friend)

You may not experience all these signs in your relationship with a friend and of course, these symptoms vary depending on the depth of the connections you both share and the circumstances you have been through. So how do we determine when a friendship is losing its track, is there a specific criteria?

To some extent, it’s a yes you will know by your gut. Pay attention to your sixth sense of what it says when a certain individual you know as your friend is around. Did you feel positive, energetic, and confident around them? Have they made a positive impact on your life? And if isn’t, and this certain friend makes you feel bad.

Left you drained, anxious, and unmotivated. And you don’t feel like being around them. Then you may be on the verge of falling into the trap of a toxic emotional roller coaster.

Why is it important to leave toxic/bad friends?

Look, life is already a tough game and you shouldn’t babysit these energy vampires at the cost of your health. They create an energy blockage, and you almost seem unable to move forward to wellness. Where good friends make your life beautiful, bad friends can turn it into a nightmare. Adult friendships are no easier to carry along.

• Your mental health should be a priority
• Building healthy boundaries
• They are often the cause of our failure
• It can make your life miserable
• Red flags are potential hazards  

How to cut off a bad friend without being rude?

Ending things with an argument or playing the blame game is not a good idea especially if you have to interact daily with them as schoolmates, classmates, colleagues, etc. Talk openly about the break up if you think it’s necessary and possible.

If that option isn’t for you, just take a step back slowly and gradually like walking on eggshells. You won’t go to hang out with them except for group activities. Start a side activity and tell them why you can’t join them or hang out with them because you are busy with XYZ activity.

It will take a while but you will get over it. Practice self-love, go out for other opportunities and you will make some good friends.

Final thoughts:

Like any other relationship friends are the most important part of our lives. With mutual respect, love, and loyalty you can make lasting friends. As the world becomes increasingly materialistic, with hollow souls, and self-serving connections, lasting friendships become rare.

The manipulative nature of people leaves them with experiences that are tasteless of the wonders and simplicity and beauty of love. If you want a good friend, be one.

Friends are the family we choose outside the blood relations.