Role Of Effective Communication in Relationship

Effective communication is a key factor in relationships, especially in committed ones. The success or failure of any partnership depends on communication skills.

If someone lacks communication skills, they end up making relationships toxic or ruining them. But the good news is that these skills are attainable & can be developed with some effort. So in this article, we’ll explore how effective communication plays a role in sustaining healthy relationships and how to fix poor/bad communication.

What is communication?

Communication is the exchange of information, thoughts, emotions, and ideas in an understandable way. The ultimate goal of communication is to understand what is being delivered. There are different types of communication for instance verbal and non-verbal communication and styles like aggressive, passive, and assertive, etc.

Importance of effective communication in a relationship

The better is communication the better is relationship. When it comes to committed relationships: which are full of ups & downs, challenging situations, and conflicts. It will be difficult to overcome such struggles without effective communication skills. Many marriages and partnerships are torn apart because of bad communication.

It’s equally important to emphasize and practice lifesaving habits. Effective communication helps partners resolve conflict in productive ways, promote intimacy, and build trust. It acts as a bloodline of a relationship, without it misunderstandings, misconceptions, tense moments, heated arguments, and unresolved conflicts create strain in the relationship.

You have bad communication if…

You act aggressively:

For instance, the two of you made a plan for the weekend and your wife excitedly suggested going to an art exhibition, and in response, you said “Why do you always have such silly ideas? Can’t you be practical and find something interesting because I don’t like going to boring places like that.” Such aggressive responses, tone, and demeaning language create a hostile atmosphere.

Aggression isn’t always helpful if applied in the wrong way at the wrong time. Your aggressive behavior can lead to bad communication breakdowns and cause many problems in future interactions with your partner. This can damage your emotional bond as a couple, cause a lack of understanding, escalation of conflict, and fear of expression.

You play the Blame game:

When in arguments you always bring statements like “You” It won’t help you in any way but only heat the argument. This isn’t an effective communication way to deal with things. You can bring up past mistakes only to prove them wrong. Don’t you want to resolve the issue? What a waste to dig up old graves!

You give Silent treatment:

You ignore actions and things that hurt you. Not addressing the issue and assuming your significant other will magically figure it out. That’s not an effective way to solve problems. It only creates a rage within you that will burst one way or another. But by then things would have gone a long way.

You shout when arguing:

Even when talking about small problems, some people become loud. Who would put up with such an attitude, who seems unable to talk normally? There is no point in raising your voice even when you feel like that. Imagine, if someone talks to you like that.

You show Disrespectful gestures/Non-verbal communication:

It feels annoying and signals the other person as unimportant. When you avoid eye contact, use gadgets, stare at something else, and play with objects while discussing or arguing. This counts as poor communication.

You complain a lot:

You tend to complain about “You did this, you did that” and a never-ending list of complaints. Can’t you make requests instead of complaints?

You lack emotional intelligence:

Some people just don’t know themselves and act on their emotions. They spite their emotions without thinking about why they feel them or what causes those emotions. These individuals have low emotional intelligence and don’t know how to understand themselves well.

A barrier to communication:

Some other factors also lead to negative communication.

• Loud noise: If you have something important to talk about, don’t choose a place where there is a lot of noise like public places or clubs. Noise makes it difficult to communicate clearly and understand each other’s points of view.

• Stress: Don’t schedule couple dates or discuss family matters when you’re stressed. Maybe you had a bad day at the office and now you have to discuss family issues. In such situations, you will not be able to understand things clearly.

• Anger Issues: If someone is dealing with anger issues, it may not be easy for them to understand the point of view of others. Trivial things can overstimulate them.

Improve and fix bad communication

Along with other factors there are cultural differences that affect the way we communicate. We may not notice or recognize them under normal circumstances and thus bring them into our relationships. These patterns create communication gaps between couples. Practice the tools given below to become an effective communicator.

• Be empathetic: We can’t exactly know how someone will react to certain things and emotional triggers. But what can be done is to imagine yourself as it happens to you. We may feel differently about different things, so acknowledge their pain and empathize with them. You’ll be able to comprehend things better in this way.

• Show respect: You know a lot of relationship problems go away if couples treat and respect each other. Be an active listener and let them be heard, make eye contact, and respect their point of view. Ask them questions about the decisions you’re going to make, whether it’s about your own life or concerns you both have. Have a heart-to-heart conversation. Telling and requesting are two very different things.

• Set clear intentions: Do you want to solve a problem? Or want to prove yourself right, make your partner feel dumb or angry, win an argument, or bring peace to your life as a couple? Be clear about what you want to communicate better.

• Focus on agreeable: Calming things down becomes more important when faced with intense situations. Try not to play the blame game in this type of situation and do not blame or use sarcastic language. Instead, bring things to the table that you can both agree on.

• Stay on topic: Focus only on what is here and now. Do not use the past tense. If past mistakes are brought to light, it will worsen the situation and lead to heated arguments.

• Speak from the “I” position: Use phrases like “I feel—when you do– (mention specific behavior). For example, “It hurts me when you interrupt us when we’re talking.”

• Be open: Communicate openly with your spouse. Discuss your needs and desires and also your expectations of them. Keep regular check-ins with your partner to keep track of what’s happening in their life.

• Don’t listen to respond: You should be hesitant to give a response as soon as your partner starts to speak. Be patient, let them say what they have to say. And make things clear, validate their feelings, and understand before jumping to answer them.

• Be honest: Sometimes it gets hard to tell the truth, express your feelings, and talk about what exactly you are going through. But we all have our reasons, so being honest about your thoughts and feelings will aid you in building trust with your partner.

• Admit it when you are wrong: Admit your mistakes and apologize if necessary. Share your vulnerabilities with them. Like anybody else, you could also be wrong at something or make mistakes unintentionally. By confessing this, you’ll be able to create a safe zone where you can confront your weaknesses in a non-judgmental way.

Communication strategies

Active listening

Try understanding the emotions behind the message and your spouse’s perspective. When you are truly interested in listening to your partner, communication will ultimately improve and misunderstandings will be reduced.

Arrange relationship meetings

You should often make time for activities that will ensure the growth of your relationship. Arrange couple’s meetings to take stock of what’s going on in your relationship. Discuss your relationship goals and identify potential issues that need to be addressed.

Bottom line:

Healthy communication serves as the backbone of any relationship, be it with family, friends, professionals, or with your special one. The more effectively you communicate the more fulfilling your relationship will be.

Recognize your thoughts and patterns and the way you communicate. Overcome barriers and practice improving your communication skills. Remember, the mere purpose of effective communication is about understanding, not listening.